Life with handicap 日常生活与习俗

Could you imagine having a best friend or spouse with a serious illness that really affects life? I don't mean contagious diseases, but, for example, chronic pain, physical disabilities, etc.

All I know is that they do not like such words as handicap, disabled since handicap is nothing but a psychological bug in mental set. Disability is part of being human. Almost everyone will temporarily or permanently experience disability at some point in their life. That is not an extraordinary situation in life. It may happen to anyone, anytime. Therefore I can easily imagine such a situation since I'd not follow some laws of eugenics.

Dunno. I've had people with cancer and depression around me. SO if it counts, like it could in French, yes, I can imagine. If it's more something that can't be cured at all, then it's more difficult to imagine, but I don't see it as a full stop to build a relationship of any nature per se.

It's easier to say it by words than to actually doing so though.

All I know is that they do not like such words as handicap, disabled since handicap is nothing but a psychological bug in mental set. Disability is part of being human. Almost everyone will temporarily or permanently experience disability at some point in their life. That is not an extraordinary situation in life. It may happen to anyone, anytime. Therefore I can easily imagine such a situation since I'd not follow some laws of eugenics.

Thank you for your great answer. I see it the same way.

Dunno. I've had people with cancer and depression around me. SO if it counts, like it could in French, yes, I can imagine. If it's more something that can't be cured at all, then it's more difficult to imagine, but I don't see it as a full stop to build a relationship of any nature per se.

It's easier to say it by words than to actually doing so though.

Thank you for your sincere reply. It is true that it is easy to say, yes, no promblem. But in reality it often looks different. A serious illness severely limits the life of the person affected, which usually also has an impact on joint activities and thus the life of the other. It demands, for example, renunciation, patience....

Two thoughts from me:

1. I find the example of Nick Vujicic very impressive. Do you know him?

2. I myself have had the experience of losing almost all friends because I could hardly do anything due to physical illness. Having to ask for help and feeling that you are a burden to others is hard. Psychologically, I am healthy, thank God.
I am engaged, but I wonder if I can do this to my fiancé.

Thank you for your sincere reply. It is true that it is easy to say, yes, no promblem. But in reality it often looks different. A serious illness severely limits the life of the person affected, which usually also has an impact on joint activities and thus the life of the other. It demands, for example, renunciation, patience....

Exactly. I know that, on my part, I really like to wander in forest, to walk in difficult landscapes... and it's also part of my field (although not that extreme). I know that I have to be extra careful, think of different paths, and be sure everyone follow if I am with people and lead them to a gps point for instance (maybe because usually, I don't care much of myself, or just do things in a different way from some people), so I doubt I could share something like that with someone who has a disability despite it being a big part of who I am, even if I also like to chill at home a lot or to cook/bake.

I wouldn't consider anyone as a burden for that though. Like you said, sometimes, you have to show renunciation, patience, and this is not inherrent to a disability. When I walk outside, like I said, I have to slow down and adapt to many people, and that's perfectly normal. However, that doesn't mean that I have to adapt for everythhhign and people I show patience to in this context certainly have to be (a lot more) patient a,d dedicated with me in other contexts.
I'm not sure if I'm clear here, but what I meant is that if your fiancé has to help you sometimes for something, he surely need your help at a point or anothher too, and I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't be your fiancé if you were a burden and was of no support/help for him.

All I know is that they do not like such words as handicap, disabled since handicap is nothing but a psychological bug in mental set. Disability is part of being human. Almost everyone will temporarily or permanently experience disability at some point in their life. That is not an extraordinary situation in life. It may happen to anyone, anytime. Therefore I can easily imagine such a situation since I'd not follow some laws of eugenics.

I have no problem saying that I am disabled but it took me a long time to accept. I guess everybody is different and it also heavily depends on the circumstances and way someone says that. In general it's not nice to be reminded of the fact but it it's still a fact. Your mindset matters the most

Could you imagine having a best friend or spouse with a serious illness that really affects life? I don't mean contagious diseases, but, for example, chronic pain, physical disabilities, etc.

I don't have to imagine that and found my soul mate in another person who also suffers from chronic illnesses. I think people who experienced or still experience hardship are the best friends. They emphasize better and aren't just fair weather friends if you took your time getting to know them well.

Of course life with someone like that/me won't be easy because there are always up and downs health wise and some things are just impossible depending on the illness. But I think it'll be worth it 🤷‍♀️

LIANSHEN: "Exactly. I know that, on my part, I really like to wander in forest, to walk in difficult landscapes... and it's also part of my field (although not that extreme). I know that I have to be extra careful, think of different paths, and be sure everyone follow if I am with people and lead them to a gps point for instance (maybe because usually, I don't care much of myself, or just do things in a different way from some people), so I doubt I could share something like that with someone who has a disability despite it being a big part of who I am, even if I also like to chill at home a lot or to cook/bake.

I wouldn't consider anyone as a burden for that though. Like you said, sometimes, you have to show renunciation, patience, and this is not inherrent to a disability. When I walk outside, like I said, I have to slow down and adapt to many people, and that's perfectly normal. However, that doesn't mean that I have to adapt for everythhhign and people I show patience to in this context certainly have to be (a lot more) patient a,d dedicated with me in other contexts.
I'm not sure if I'm clear here, but what I meant is that if your fiancé has to help you sometimes for something, he surely need your help at a point or anothher too, and I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't be your fiancé if you were a burden and was of no support/help for him."

Thanks for your answer and kindness.
It is true that each can be a help to the other. I can't run a marathon, but I can pray, listen, explain, and so on. Often you can do more than you would have expected. That's why I gave the example of Nick Vujicic. (He has no arms and legs, but he can run, swim, etc.).

Quote from Winzentwinni

"I have no problem saying that I am disabled but it took me a long time to accept. I guess everybody is different and it also heavily depends on the circumstances and way someone says that. In general it's not nice to be reminded of the fact but it it's still a fact. Your mindset matters the most
"

May I ask what is your illness?

LIANSHEN: "Exactly. I know that, on my part, I really like to wander in forest, to walk in difficult landscapes... and it's also part of my field (although not that extreme). I know that I have to be extra careful, think of different paths, and be sure everyone follow if I am with people and lead them to a gps point for instance (maybe because usually, I don't care much of myself, or just do things in a different way from some people), so I doubt I could share something like that with someone who has a disability despite it being a big part of who I am, even if I also like to chill at home a lot or to cook/bake.

I wouldn't consider anyone as a burden for that though. Like you said, sometimes, you have to show renunciation, patience, and this is not inherrent to a disability. When I walk outside, like I said, I have to slow down and adapt to many people, and that's perfectly normal. However, that doesn't mean that I have to adapt for everythhhign and people I show patience to in this context certainly have to be (a lot more) patient a,d dedicated with me in other contexts.
I'm not sure if I'm clear here, but what I meant is that if your fiancé has to help you sometimes for something, he surely need your help at a point or anothher too, and I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't be your fiancé if you were a burden and was of no support/help for him."

Thanks for your answer and kindness.
It is true that each can be a help to the other. I can't run a marathon, but I can pray, listen, explain, and so on. Often you can do more than you would have expected. That's why I gave the example of Nick Vujicic. (He has no arms and legs, but he can run, swim, etc.).

Sure! That's great that you can do that.. I'm sometimes not very good at explaining, and I fail to always read emotions properly or to be correct in some contexts; so people who can explain or be patient are extremely precious to me. I didn't know about him, but I'll try to give a look soon.

May I ask what is your illness?

You may ask 😁 I have fibromyalgia (Fibromyalgie) and a chronic autoimmun disorder.

May I ask what is your illness?

You may ask 😁 I have fibromyalgia (Fibromyalgie) and a chronic autoimmun disorder.

Do you still have severe pain? My Latin teacher also suffers from fibromyalgia. What is chronic autoimmun disorder?

LIANSHEN: "Exactly. I know that, on my part, I really like to wander in forest, to walk in difficult landscapes... and it's also part of my field (although not that extreme). I know that I have to be extra careful, think of different paths, and be sure everyone follow if I am with people and lead them to a gps point for instance (maybe because usually, I don't care much of myself, or just do things in a different way from some people), so I doubt I could share something like that with someone who has a disability despite it being a big part of who I am, even if I also like to chill at home a lot or to cook/bake.

I wouldn't consider anyone as a burden for that though. Like you said, sometimes, you have to show renunciation, patience, and this is not inherrent to a disability. When I walk outside, like I said, I have to slow down and adapt to many people, and that's perfectly normal. However, that doesn't mean that I have to adapt for everythhhign and people I show patience to in this context certainly have to be (a lot more) patient a,d dedicated with me in other contexts.
I'm not sure if I'm clear here, but what I meant is that if your fiancé has to help you sometimes for something, he surely need your help at a point or anothher too, and I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't be your fiancé if you were a burden and was of no support/help for him."

Thanks for your answer and kindness.
It is true that each can be a help to the other. I can't run a marathon, but I can pray, listen, explain, and so on. Often you can do more than you would have expected. That's why I gave the example of Nick Vujicic. (He has no arms and legs, but he can run, swim, etc.).

Sure! That's great that you can do that.. I'm sometimes not very good at explaining, and I fail to always read emotions properly or to be correct in some contexts; so people who can explain or be patient are extremely precious to me. I didn't know about him, but I'll try to give a look soon.

Thanks for your kindness once more. 🙂

Here is Nick Vujicic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bGqTf_jHSE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k89u1ATig6w

I think he is a great inspiration for all of us.

I wish all of you a strong health - and the strength to carry your personal burden (work, duties, diseases or whatever) with a smile and that you explore its deep meaning. Nothing is meaningless.